Compassion
by reenas-as
Summary: We all know Inuyasha's mother was human and his father a demon lord. What we don't know is how they met, why they had a child... this story explores that past.
1. chapter 1

**Compassion**

Note: wow, an author's note up front from me – amazing, but necessary in this case. First I would like to say that this fic is canon in the sense that everyone is who they are in the show. Inuyasha is after the same thing, the entire universe and premise is the same, all relationships are the same. However, I don't know what happened with Inuyasha's parents, or even if it is ever explained in the series, so I took some artistic license. If you know what happened and wish to tell me, I'd like that, but please don't criticize. Let's practice 'suspending our disbelief' shall we? Also, every one knows I'm not much for tragedy. But we all know that both of Inu's parents are dead by the time the series starts. So expect a little tragedy/angst. Just giving you fair warning... I hate flames...

Oh! And I'm posting this first chapter on Valentine's Day because it's a romance... yeah...

And now! On to the story!

_Compassion_

An Inutaisho and Izayoi romantic tragedy

Chapter 1

"My lady?" the call was tentative, almost apologetic, and the look in the servant's eyes as she entered her mistress' chambers was even more of the same.

Her mistress sighed heavily, something she only indulged in when in the privacy of her own chambers. She had yet to rise from her bed, but no one would complain – prerogative of being the only daughter of the Lord of the province. Her long black hair was spread out on the bed around her, and her delicate features were somewhat marred by the look in her eyes. She seemed to be worried, but that was only the servant's opinion. The servant thought it was rather brave of the young mistress – she herself would have been terrified.

"My lady, they've come for you..."

The young hime stood, holding out her arms so that her servant could dress her properly for the day – not that it probably mattered. Nothing much would matter after today. Life as she knew it was over. It couldn't be helped, of course; it was her duty as the Lord's daughter.

The servant, who was no older than 16 herself - which was actually nearly a year older than her mistress - helped her lady slip into a new yukata and kimono. It was exquisite in its simplistic elegance; a deep violet that accentuated the hime's flawless white skin and her dark eyes. It had a simple cherry branch pattern and was completed by an obi of the lightest pink. The servant thought it would be wasted, considering where the young hime was heading, but it wasn't her place. Still, she doubted _he_ would even notice. The lady's clothes were not what he was likely to be interested in.

She finished tying the obi and bowed to her mistress, who waved a hand in dismissal. She would have no need of her father's servants anymore. Walking through the halls of the castle she was careful to keep her head high and her steps graceful. No one would know how hard this was for her. However, she could not bring herself to accept any offers of a morning meal, as she was certain she would promptly betray herself by failing to keep it down.

"Izayoi," her father's voice stopped her just before she stepped out of the castle and toward the caravan that would take her away. She had half hoped, half feared, that he would not come see her off. Now that he had she felt tears threatening in her eyes; she blinked them back quickly. She was going to miss him.

"Izayoi," her father embraced her, not caring who saw as he might never see her again, and she once again had to bite back the tears. Pulling back he brought a hand up to gentle lay against her cheek. "I shall miss you so much."

"And I you, father." She responded, longing to do nothing more than sink into his arms again – they made her feel like a little girl again, safe and cherished.

He seemed to understand her apprehension all too well. He smiled at her, "The leader of the dog demons is ruthless in battle, and frightening in his wrath," he told her, his voice gentle, "but he is a just judge and a merciful ruler. He has never allowed harm to come upon those who dwell in his lands. Respect him, but you need not fear him."

Izayoi nodded, grateful for her father's assurances, for she had been more afraid than she was letting on. She had heard all sorts of rumors about the powerful Taiyoukai – most of them unpleasant – and, though she had lived in his lands all her life, she was not at all certain what to expect from him.

Her father pulled her to him once more, "I love you, daughter."

"And I love you, father," she assured him as she pulled away and was guided to the caravan. As she turned she did not fail to notice the guilt and pain in his eyes. He blamed himself for this. And, though he did not fear physical harm to his daughter, he knew this was not the life she wanted.

And she knew that this was in no way his fault...

It was the fault of the demons.

For as long as Izayoi could remember her family had ruled this province – rather they had governed the humans of the province. In reality the land, along with all the other provinces of the west, was ruled by a great and powerful inuyoukai. He was Inutaisho, Taiyoukai of the western lands. And the people of his land had always lived in peace, protected by his powerful youkai armies. But recently their province had been attacked by low class demons. At first it was only a small band and the people had not been worried. But then it was two bands, and then three... soon the countryside was ravished by demon attacks and the villagers lived in constant fear. The Lord, her father, had done all in his power to protect his people, but what good were human weapons against demons?

He sent word to the Taiyoukai for help, but it appeared that no reply was coming, and the people took that as reply enough. Despite their Lord's reassurances that the demon Lord _would_ send a defense, the people determined that he would not. Rumors spread that Inutaisho was angry with them, and that he was allowing the lesser demons to attack them because of his displeasure with them.

And that was why Izayoi was headed toward the Taiyoukai's castle. What better way to appease an angry demon than to offer him a beautiful young princess as a sacrifice? He was an animal after all – albeit a powerful one who held their very lives in his hands. She was tempted to be angry with them for so willingly giving her up – after all, they probably expected him to eat her, which meant they were willingly sending her to her death. She knew better though. Her father had met the Lord once and had found him to be an understanding ruler, just and noble. Demon or not, he would bring no harm to her. But her life was still over. In the castle of a demon Lord she could hope for little more than a life of servitude. But she would gladly accept her fate if it would relieve her father of his burden.

Even now Inutaisho's demon army was driving the invading bands from the province.

Not that they were doing so because of the offering now being transported to their Lord's castle. In fact, Inutaisho did not even know of the villagers' plans. He had found his forces stretched rather thin over the last months as several of his enemies had banded together in an attempt to claim his territory. He simply could not defend all of his land at once and had been unable to respond to his governor's pleas until recently, but this was the last band of invaders and, once word spread of how thoroughly he had thwarted invasion, it was unlikely he would fall under attack in the near future. Indeed, the demon bands in Izayoi's province had been virtually wiped out several days before, only a few lingered, hiding from the Taiyoukai. But the people were convinced that the Taiyoukai had only acted because of their intent to offer the hime as a sacrifice, and nothing anyone said to the contrary could reach them.

Knowing his daughter would be better off with the demon Lord than with the angry villagers the Lord had been forced to let her go – praying that the Taiyoukai would somehow understand and that things would work out for the best. Secreted away in her kimono, Izayoi held a letter to the Taiyoukai begging him to accept the girl into his household until such a time as it was safe for her to return – if that time ever came.

Izayoi couldn't bring herself to resent the common people of the province for the sentence they had so selfishly given her. They were afraid, and in their fear they believed the assurances of their Lord to have been political lies. They were a superstitious and easily frightened people. But who wouldn't be when faced with marauding bands of demons? Who was she, kept safe in her palace chambers, to look down on their fears?

That didn't mean she was any less nervous about this. What if the Taiyoukai was angered by their actions, and chose to punish them for their cruelty? Her father had said he was just. Surely he would not be pleased with them for their folly – or for what it implied. Would he punish them? They would only blame her father... Or would he scoff at their foolishness and send her back? The consequences of that could be devastating for her family. Would they think she had not been good enough?

She wished she were alone so that she could sigh. Sometimes she felt that it wasn't fair that people had to hide what they truly felt. A princess could not sigh in public, nor could a servant, for fear that they would offend or reveal weakness of character. But it would make her feel so much better. So many questions and so few answers. To know the rumors were false was a far cry from knowing what the truth actually was.

Inutaisho was just. He was merciful. But what would he think of the young hime appearing, un-summoned and unannounced, at his home? Would he hold her in contempt as a weak human? Or pity her as the casual sacrifice of a thoughtless people?

Eventually the strain of constant fretting and pondering overcame her and she fell into a fitful sleep. It wasn't surprising – she hadn't slept much the last several nights. Her only comfort was that she did not sleep deeply enough to dream, or, if she did, she could not remember any, for she was certain they would have been filled with angry villagers and vengeful demons.

* * *

Izayoi was uncertain how long she had slept, but it must have been some time, for when she awoke they had arrived at the castle of the Taiyoukai. She felt a rush of nervousness as she hurriedly ran her hands over her hair and garments to straighten them – a difficult task as her hands were shaking almost uncontrollably. It felt as though a school of tadpoles had taken residence in her belly. She was suddenly very grateful she had not eaten breakfast – she was certain she would have disgraced herself by reliving the meal.

She grimaced briefly before fixing a practiced smile on her lips. It was a look she had perfected over fifteen years of dealing with hypocritical, self-absorbed courtesans. A servant – a demon of some sort – assisted her down from her litter and onto the well-kept walkway. She took very little note of her surroundings as she followed him into the castle - a pity really, as they were breathtakingly beautiful. The simplistic elegance bespoke a nobility of character that was impossible to imitate. That was the mistake of most warlords – the oppressive opulence that so clearly revealed their feelings of inferiority and practically screamed that their dignity was mere pretense.

The significance of this was lost on the young hime. Her world was centered a mere few feet in front of her, on the feet of the servant she followed. She was suddenly very afraid that her father had been wrong, and the Lord would kill her for the stupidity of her people. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she failed to notice that they had stopped in a large chamber, and that the servant had left.

What brought her out of her stupor was the appearance of the Lord himself.

The sight of him made her breath catch.

She was not certain what she had expected the Taiyoukai to look like, but whatever it was it fell short. She had heard stories, but those also could not hold a candle to the sight that met her eyes.

She knew he was centuries old, but his appearance was that of a man in his thirties. And he was healthier and more fit than any thirty year old human man she had ever seen. She supposed it was the maturity and wisdom she saw in his features that led her to place him in his thirties, for there was not a wrinkly or a scar to betray age. He was exquisite, elegant, regal. Long white hair was swept into a high ponytail and then hung gracefully down his back to his waist. Golden orbs gazed at her serenely from a gentle countenance. He wore white hakama and a white hoari with a touch of blue, and he had a blue and red sash at his waist. The pant-like lower garment only accentuated his impressive height – at least a foot and a half taller than she, if not a full two feet. His hands – strong, yet soft, with long, tapered fingers ending in razor sharp claws – rested easily at his side. She could imagine him holding a sword or a pen with equal ease.

She couldn't help but think that he was the most attractive man she had ever seen. And it wasn't just his physical beauty. He seemed to have a presence about him, an aura of nobility and gentility that one could sense even when only viewing him from a distance. And yet he was so strong –clearly not a man to be manipulated or toyed with. She quickly ducked her head, averting her eyes so that he would not notice her staring, or her gentle blush.

She needn't have bothered.

Inutaisho had noticed her reaction to his presence – or, more accurately, to his _appearance_ – immediately upon his arrival. And, even now he could smell her discomfort, and knew its cause. His eyes warmed with faint amusement and a soft smile graced his lips, but he did not see the need to draw attention to her obvious embarrassment.

"Welcome." He had been informed of her impending arrival mere hours before she had come. He knew why she was here, and, truthfully, he was angry. That humans would treat their own in such a deplorable manner... that they believed _he_ would approve of such behavior – it was enough to make him ill. And, seeing the girl's state did little to help calm him. He wanted nothing more than to storm into her province and force the ignorant fools to see the truth, but he knew it would do little good. For the sake of the girl he would accept this ludicrous 'offering', and he would accept it graciously.

He continued to watch her bowed head while motioning several servants into the room. A male servant stooped to take her small bag – he frowned at this, evidently her people had not expected her to need much in the way of possessions, he would have to see about purchasing her necessities – and a female servant came to stand unobtrusively behind the human hime. "Mitasho will show you to your chambers." He indicated the servant, trying to infuse his voice with casual congeniality, hoping it would calm her obviously frayed nerves. She was unresponsive. "She and Kiyomi will see to your needs during your stay. If you should require additional assistance Hitoku," he referred to the male who had just left, "is at your disposal as well."

He watched her carefully as he spoke, hoping to see her relax if nothing else, "Feel free to take your meals at any time, but if you would be so kind as to inform the kitchen staff of your preferences..." he tilted his head slightly, "you may make use of any of the castle's facilities. There are several indoor gardens, and, of course, a myriad of outdoor courtyards. Make yourself at home."

Her brow furrowed briefly and her gaze came to his in confusion, but she said nothing.

He arched a brow, "Something troubles you?"

She flushed once more and averted her gaze, "It is only that..." she spoke hesitantly, "I... expected to be a servant, my Lord."

He chuckled lightly, approaching her so that he stood less than an arm's length from her. "I believe you would find yourself poorly suited to the task." He must have seen her hurt, for he lifted her chin gently, gazing steadily into her eyes, "You are too noble to bow to anyone." And as he said it she saw in his gaze the last thing she had imagined in any of her musings – compassion.

* * *

Notes: Inutaisho is technically _not_ Inuyasha's father's _name_ – it's his title. It means leader of the dogs or something like that. But I don't know his actual name... and Inutaisho is what I've always read him called, and it sounds cool. So there you go... If you know his name I'd be thrilled if you'd tell me, but I probably won't change it in here or anything... just don't complain please.

Also, I know nothing of Inutaisho's relationship with either of his wives – I've heard that he didn't really love his first wife, but they were both in heat; I've also heard that he loved her greatly and she was murdered. I don't know – and I don't know if Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha ever met when their father was alive. I took some creative license... deal with it . But it's technically still canon universe because... everything else is the same as the anime... yeah...

VOCAB:

Hime – princess

Taiyoukai – demon Lord

Youkai – demon

Inu – dog

Hanyou – half demon

Shoji – in Japanese architecture: the portion of the wall that slides back to serve as a door.

Please review!

reenas-as


	2. chapter 2

Compassion

Chapter 2

Izayoi took the long way back from the koi pond to her chambers. It had been nearly a week since her arrival, but she was just beginning to acquaint herself with the various areas of the castle. She had to admit that it was beyond anything she had ever imagined – it made her own castle look like a poor village shanty. She felt a pang in her heart and pushed the bitter-sweet thought aside. It did little good to dwell on such things. Besides, she was well treated here. She could, perhaps, come to look on this place as home if she but had a companion.

Certainly she had servants enough. But they had little interest in speaking with her beyond their duties. Kiyomi had spent some time with her the first two days, but she had many duties to attend to, and had little free time for idle chatter.

As for the Lord... Izayoi had only caught glimpses of him during her stay. He took his meals in his chambers and spent most of his day meeting with nobles and generals and such. Apparently the war with the marauding demon bands was winding to a close and he had much to do in the way of restoration and reparations in his lands. She had not seen him at all since two days ago, although the servants had been in a bustle the previous night, preparing for the arrival of the Lord's son.

Izayoi was curios what the young Lord would be like. But it was unlikely she would ever know. She had overheard some of the servants speaking of him, and he, apparently, was not overly fond of human companionship.

She quickened her pace as she entered a new hall, knowing that she would have to pass by the Taiyoukai's offices, and not wishing to disturb him. However, just past the shoji, the sound of voices drew her attention. The first was that of the Lord, but she did not recognize the second – though he sounded much like her Lord. She wondered if the second man might be his son. Unconsciously she pressed nearer the wall, attempting to hear their conversation.

"Surely you aren't going to keep her here." It was the unfamiliar voice.

"I can't send her back, Sesshoumaru, they will kill her for her perceived failure." So it _was_ the son.

The first man made a sound suspiciously like a snort, "One more reason humans are fools."

"Sesshoumaru... son, trust me."

"You are making a foolish choice." Sesshoumaru spoke imperiously.

Inutaisho's normally gentle eyes flashed in anger at his impertinence, "But it is _my_ choice to make." He growled warningly, his tone hard, "And if it is a mistake, then that is mine to make as well." He said levelly. Sesshoumaru stared at his father coldly and then, having no answer to this, left the room.

Izayoi pulled herself up against the wall as Sesshoumaru walked out, worried that he would catch her, but he walked past without a glance in her direction. She nearly sighed in relief and turned to walk back to her chambers, but a voice stopped her.

"Come in Izayoi." The command was gentle, but she quickly obeyed, fearing he would berate her for her intrusion. She entered, head bowed apologetically.

"I'm sorry, my Lord, it was not my intention to intrude, but I was walking by..."

He waved a hand in dismissal. "He knew you were there as well as I did. If he had objected to your presence he would not have continued speaking."

Izayoi nodded and, believing he was finished with her, she was about to leave when she saw him sigh, his face suddenly very weary. Somehow she couldn't leave him like this.

"Sesshoumaru," she began timidly, "he doesn't like humans much, does he?" She probably shouldn't have said anything, but it was so strange. Inutaisho seemed to hold no biases, but his son was so adamantly prejudiced against her people. She was curious. Besides, he looked as though he needed to speak to someone.

He placed a hand over his eyes briefly, "Sesshoumaru... Sesshoumaru does not waste energy hating anyone – he does not waste energy on _any_ emotion. So I suppose it would not be fair to say that he dislikes humans. He simply has little use for them. He is... without compassion, I suppose." He shook his head, "I fear I have been a poor father to him."

Izayoi found that hard to believe, but she couldn't think of a way to say that without sounding like a child enamored of her current hero.

Inutaisho suddenly lifted his head, meeting her gaze with a sad smile, "You may go, Izayoi."

She would have liked to stay, to listen to his troubles and perhaps, by doing so, ease his mind. But it was not her place – her Lord had dismissed her. Bowing, she turned and resumed her earlier journey to her chambers.

In his office Inutaisho buried his face in his hands only a moment before replacing his usual expression and rising to his feet. He had more important things to do than bemoan the past.

-

Izayoi had made a vow _never_ to take the long way back to her room again - at least not while the son of the Lord was visiting. She had been certain, that first day, that he would leave immediately, too disgusted by the presence of a human in the household to stay. However, it appeared that he was not willing to let such feelings interfere with his plans, and so the servants had prepared for a stay of at least three days. Whether Sesshoumaru and his father actually spoke during that time was uncertain, but it wasn't Izayoi's place to question.

She had spent as much time in the gardens as she could, hoping to avoid a run in with the younger demon. And her efforts appeared to have succeeded.

Until today.

To say that the sudden appearance of the young Lord had shocked her would have been an understatement. He had approached with such stealth that she had not had an instant of warning before the deep and disinterested voice sounded behind her. She had immediately stood from the bench she had been occupying, fighting the urge to clasp her hands – a nervous habit she had abandoned at the age of eight. It was difficult not to squirm under his cold scrutiny.

If Inutaisho was handsome, Sesshoumaru was beautiful – a vision of masculine grace. His features were a bit more feminine than his father's, his cheekbones higher, his eyes narrower. His forehead bore a deep blue crescent moon and his cheeks held two magenta stripes each, as opposed to his father's single blue slashes. His hair was as white as his father's, but it fell freely to his knees, and his skin looked as though it had never seen sunlight – though she knew that he spent nearly all of his time traveling the western lands and rarely spent any time indoors. She assumed the additional markings, including the red on his eyelids, were traits inherited from his mother, but she didn't dare ask.

His eyes, however, he had clearly inherited from his father. They were that same stunning gold. But on him they were somehow cold as ice, so unlike the melted honey of his father's gaze.

He was making her decidedly uncomfortable.

He had said nothing since he had first appeared, and she gathered that first greeting, if the single word "Wench" could even be considered a greeting, had merely been his chosen method of gaining her attention.

His perusal finally ended and he turned away from her without another word, leaving her with the despairing feeling that she had somehow failed to measure up – though what he was measuring her against or for she hadn't the faintest idea.

She was beginning to dread the duration of his stay, but the next morning he was gone.

She tried not to feel relieved. But she couldn't deny that she felt far more at ease without his overbearing presence in the castle.

* * *

A/N: Sorry it is so short... and late too. I didn't get home last night until, well, this morning... and I was very tired... Anyway, not much dialogue in this one They say that's the mark of really good writing... but I've never believed them... I mean, people talk - a lot - that's just what we do, so shouldn't stories have lots of dialogue:shrug: Whatever.

Bye bye!

reenas-as

VOCAB:

Hime – princess

Taiyoukai – demon Lord

Youkai – demon

Inu – dog

Hanyou – half demon

Shoji – in Japanese architecture: the portion of the wall that slides back to serve as a door.


	3. chapter 3

Compassion

Chapter 3

This garden was her favorite. It was tucked away in a far corner of the castle, protected from the elements and wandering eyes. It was the only one of the indoor gardens that had a koi pond, complete with a small bridge. Izayoi found it very comforting. For some reason she had begun to feel an affinity for the slow moving orange and gold fish. They were peaceful, with no pressing concerns. They were not given a say in their stay here – captured by some servant for the sole purpose of entertaining guest of the Lord. But they were well cared for, and they were content. She felt very similar to them at times, though she was not here for anyone's amusement.

She trailed her fingertips over the surface of the pond, smiling gently as the fish jolted away from her with unusual speed. Yes, after two months in this place she was as content with her confinement as they seemed to be.

She heard the shoji slide open behind her, but did not turn. It was likely a servant come to check on her, they would leave once they were certain she was well.

Long moments passed, and the shoji did not open again. This piqued her curiosity. Did the servant have a question, but not wish to disturb her? She stood slowly, straightening her kimono and brushing her hair behind her shoulders as she turned toward the door, only to freeze as she realized _who_ had entered.

It was Inutaisho.

He didn't appear to notice her movement, his eyes still fixed on her. Somehow it wasn't uncomfortable as Sesshoumaru's appraisal had been. Still, she wanted to know what he was looking for with so intent a gaze. She bowed her head, effectively snapping him from his trance. He shifted his gaze from her figure to the koi pond his expression unchanged. He made no other movements. Now Izayoi let her gaze trace his figure. Two months in his castle had not made her any more immune to his appearance. He still took her breath away.

Suddenly Izayoi had the unnerving feeling that she was intruding on a very private moment. A slow flush came over her pale skin and she gripped her kimono tightly, twisting it in her hands. Nervous, she moved to step around him, giving him a wide berth, her head turned away from him. But just as she came up beside him, he spoke.

"Izayoi..." his tone was gentle, interested, but that didn't lessen her nervousness even though she felt it should have. "How have you been occupying yourself since coming here?"

She struggled not to fidget, something she did far too often these days, "Well, I..." she took a breath, calling up all of her practiced calm and regal upbringing, and actually managed to calm her racing heart and behave as the princess she was... for a moment, "that is, one of the servants has been teaching me a dialect from the mainland to the west, and I have learned a bit about plants..." she trailed off uncertainly, her momentary courage gone.

He eyed her with a contemplative look, and she found herself growing uncomfortable with the long silence. "I wonder if you would consent to take your meals with me from now on?" he suddenly asked, startling her.

"O-of course, my Lord, I would be honored." She bowed her head to him.

* * *

"Hmmm..." his face still held that look, as though he were lost in his own thoughts. Then he bowed to her deeply and left the garden, leaving her to wonder what had just occurred.

It had been unusual at first, sitting across from him at mealtimes. She had seen him perhaps twelve times during her first two months at the castle, and spoken to him about a third of those times. Now she saw him three times a day – sometimes more – without fail. If she had expected these times to be awkward and silent, she had been mistaken. Inutaisho was always at ease, always congenial, and always in the mood for conversation. She was learning a great deal about his life, and, in turn, he had inquired about a great deal of her life as well. Of course, she had far less to tell being only 15, while he was nearly seven hundred years old. Yet he never seemed to tire of listening to her, asking her about her dreams, her thoughts, her opinions.

She was beginning to wonder if he were lonely.

After all, he had no friends. He had allies, and servants, and even a few equals. But he had no friends, and his only living relative, Sesshoumaru, had not been in contact with him since his brief stay shortly after Izayoi's arrival.

She didn't complain.

After all... she was lonely too.

It amazed her how quickly she became accustomed to his presence. Where it had taken him several attempts to draw her into real conversation at first, she now needed no encouragement. She even felt comfortable asking _him_ question rather than waiting for his, or simply listening to whatever happened to be on his mind.

For the first time in her life, she had a friend.

The feeling that knowledge gave her was almost giddy. She felt like a small child so great was her joy at times.

And he gave every indication of enjoying their time together as well. That was what amazed her most.

What did a human hime, just barely approaching her sixteenth year, have to offer a centuries old demon Lord?

But she didn't think about that much. She didn't like the depression that came with such thoughts. And he never drew her attention to it, never made her feel inferior or inadequate.

In fact, the only time she found herself feeling out of place was when he talked about his wife.

It had been rare at first, for him to speak of something so personal. In fact, it wasn't until just after her sixteenth birthday – about five months after they had begun to eat together regularly – that he dared broach the subject. It was a brief mention, in the midst of a war story. But the look in his eyes had been haunting. It was very clear that he loved his wife. Izayoi felt simultaneously a sense of elation and despair: elation because he trusted her enough to share something so personal and intimate, and despair for a reason she couldn't quite identify. She only knew that she wished she could wipe the sadness from his soulful eyes – not take the memory, but ease the pain.

By the time her seventeenth birthday approached she felt she knew Inutaisho as well as it was possible to know anyone. And he knew her just as well.

She had found him to be everything her father had told her and more. He was kind, just, stern, gentle, firm, caring, compassionate, intelligent, understanding, a man of deep thought and deep feeling, but a man of action when it was necessary. She had heard about his battles, his victories and his losses. He had told her the thoughts behind his decisions, the emotions stirred by the world around him. He had told her some of his regrets, some of his sorrows, some of his dreams.

And he had someone managed to draw those same things from her in a way that was causing her to mature and grow in ways she hadn't thought possible. His influence had calmed her, made her less apt to despondency, brightened her view of the world even as he forced her to question all she had been taught to believe. It was an intellectual and emotional challenge that she grew to relish. And somehow she knew that even though she was young, conversing with her had the same effect on him. It was comforting knowing that they could teach each other, rely on one another.

Comforting... and very disturbing.

Izayoi was finding it increasingly difficult to squelch the nagging feeling in her gut that she was in far too deep.

Perhaps it was the way his hand would linger on hers after he had helped her rise from her seat, or the way it would rest casually, yet intimately, on her back briefly before he left her at her shoji. Or perhaps it was the fact that she sometimes caught his gaze following her as she walked through a room, the way she could sense him observing her every movement. Perhaps it was the warmth in his eyes, the softness in his tone, or that smile she knew only she could provoke. The way he made her feel as though everything she said mattered, and nothing she did could make her less in his eyes.

Or perhaps it was the tell tale way her stomach flip flopped when she noticed one of these things. Perhaps it was the way her breath still caught at the sight of him. The way her heart pounded against her chest. The feeling of heat coursing through her whenever he touched her.

Perhaps _that_ was what truly frightened her.

* * *

* * *

A/N: I'm so sorry! I somehow forgot that yesterday was Monday. Or, rather, I knew it was Monday, and I knew that I update this story on Mondays.. but somewhere along the way they just didn't connect. Two different levels... Also, on an annoyed note. ANyone notice FF messes up more and more stuff every week? Finds more symbols it doesn't likeeveryday it seems. Last Thursday it still let me use a single dash as a seperator, today it won't show them. I wonder if it deleted all the dashes in the story, in which case I am extremely sorry. But... as this is already late I don't have time to edit it again. My apologies.

Note: I haven't the slightest idea how old Inutaisho was when he met Izayoi... so I made up a somewhat vague age, but I did have to place a century on him... terribly sorry, I tried to avoid it...

VOCAB:

Hime – princess

Taiyoukai – demon Lord

Youkai – demon

Inu – dog

Hanyou – half demon

Shoji – in Japanese architecture: the portion of the wall that slides back to serve as a door.

reenas-as


	4. chapter 4

Compassion

Chapter 4

"It's my seventeenth birthday today." She whispered, alone in her chambers. She had been in the castle of the Taiyoukai nearly two years, and had now considered him her dearest friends for a year and a half. She felt a pang of homesickness, but it was quickly lost. She was not sorry to have come here.

There was a gentle rap at the shoji and Kiyomi entered. In her hand she held a strange bundle wrapped in white silk.

"My lady." Kiyomi bowed, extending the bundle, which Izayoi took. Kiyomi did not wait for a dismissal, but simply left the room to wait beside the shoji. When the mistress needed her she would call.

Izayoi studied the silk blankly for a few moments, running her fingers over the smooth, cool cloth. She wondered what it was, and then realized that the only way to find out was to open it. Carefully she laid it on the low table and untied the ribbon bindings. She folded back the silk wrapping and gasped at what she saw.

It was the most exquisite kimono she had ever seen.

Gently she lifted it, letting the bottom fall to the floor – she had no fear of it getting dirty as every inch of the castle was meticulously maintained.

It was a deep blue, the kimono, with a white floral pattern and touches of silver. Turning back to the table she saw that this was merely a piece of the ensemble. There were two other layers and an obi, each as exquisite as the first piece, but in varying shades of blue and purple, with white and silver accents. At the bottom of the pile she found a small scroll.

Once unrolled she found it contained the elegant hand writing of her Lord.

_Izayoi, today you become a woman. May Kami bless you and keep you, for you are a companion of unusual depth and perception. You possess an exceptional beauty, both of spirit and body. Use it well in the coming years. Happy birthday, Izayoi._

She felt tears fill her eyes as she reread the words, her eyes then falling to the breath-taking kimono. His gift to her.

For a moment she could not breathe, she was so filled with elation. The only thought she could keep anywhere near coherent was that he had said that she was beautiful. Those simple words filled her with incredible warmth, and she caught herself hugging the scroll to her bosom, eyes drifting closed on a dreamy sigh.

It was then that she _knew_ beyond all doubt that she was in trouble.

She loved him.

Her eyes snapped open, as she was filled with a slow-building dread.

How was she to keep it from him? Surely, with his superior senses, he could tell how she felt. With sudden mortification she realized that he probably already knew. How long had his presence made her pulse jump, how long had his touch brought a gentle blush to her face, how long had she secretly longed for his attentions even while denying her attraction to him? Certainly he had known from that very first time.

Why was she such a fool?

But then, he had never turned her away. He had never seemed disgusted with her or even angry. He sought out her company. If nothing else, he valued her friendship. She could face him, she must, because it wasn't fair to deprive him of the only friend he had.

With that thought to strengthen her resolve she pushed back her nervousness and picked up her new kimono, prepared to get ready for the day.

* * *

Inutaisho had had a special meal prepared for her. All her favorites, though how on earth he had remembered them was a mystery to her – she was certain they had only had a few conversations about such things. But then, she hadn't mentioned her birthday since a week after she had turned sixteen, and he had remembered that.

She forced herself not to read too much into that. He was a demon after all, his memory was likely far better than hers.

Still, she couldn't help but feel that he was especially attentive today.

He had arranged for a traveling group of entertainers to stop at the castle and perform for them. Another expensive gift for her. But she reasoned that he was trying to distract her from the homesickness she had mentioned had plagued her on her last birthday. After all, he had wealth beyond imagining, what were a kimono and some entertainment to him? He likely enjoyed the diversion as well.

They spent nearly the whole day together, and she congratulated herself that she did not stare or blush all day. Perhaps she would be able to live with her new-found awareness after all.

That conviction lasted until just after supper when, for the first time all day, they were alone. And he chose that moment to compliment her on her attire.

Struggling to fight down the heat rising in her cheeks, she forced a smile and thanked him for his gift. Fortunately he seemed not to notice her discomfort.

But when he slipped her arm through his to escort her back to her chambers after a moonlit walk through the outer gardens she was certain he had to hear her heart racing. She prayed that he would believe her exhausted from the eventful day, and dismiss it as that.

Outside her shoji he took her hand and bowed over it, brushing his lips against it in a custom she had rarely seen practiced. She flushed deeply, and ducked her head away as he straightened, missing his strangely sad smile. He whispered goodnight, brushing a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, before departing.

Perhaps she had imagined it, but she could have sworn that his hand had lingered on her face a bit longer than was necessary. Entering her chambers she changed before collapsing on the futon. She sighed; certainly it was merely the idle dreams of a young woman's infatuated heart. He couldn't possibly have any interest in her – he was a god among men, and she was a child. She must seem hopelessly immature to him, rambling on about childish dreams and thoughts in their daily discussions. She wondered how he managed to put up with her. Why he indulged her as he had today. She found her thoughts drifting to the times he had spoken about his first wife. If that did not squelch her foolish dreams, she didn't know what would.

She was the epitome of elegance, wisdom, beauty and power – his wife. She had died decades before, but she was still alive in the heart of Inutaisho. Izayoi had seen the look in his eyes when he spoke of her - no woman would ever take her place. She could never hope to compete. Against such perfection what hope did a mere human child have?

* * *

Inutaisho frowned. He was a fool, allowing himself to get so close to her. A fool to hope.

He had indulged himself too much today. And, likely, revealed far too much to her. He would be fortunate if she ever spoke to him again, especially after his actions in front of her chambers. He growled softly before sinking down to the floor, crossing his legs and attempting to clear his mind. Meditation was what he needed, especially after that encounter...

But his mind would not cooperate; it kept drifting to the young woman who was so close... and so very far. He could almost feel her soft hand against his lips. This was more than infatuation...

This was impossible.

He knew what they thought - the humans. Youkai were monsters, barely a step above animals, and it was only because of their strength and numbers that they ruled over humanity. Humans didn't respect youkai – they merely feared them. Nothing he had done in these lands had done anything to change that. Izayoi's presence here was proof enough of that. In his own provinces ignorant humans had believed a human sacrifice would somehow ingratiate them to him! It was ridiculous, insulting even, and proved beyond doubt that they had learned nothing. There was a difference between the low-class bestial demons who terrorized innocent villages, and high class youkai like himself - a great deal of difference. But they refused to see... Perhaps that was why so many higher class demons had given up on humanity completely. They would never see demons as anything but base and evil.

Izayoi didn't seem to share that view, but she had grown up around it all her life. Though he had never seen the evidence of it, surely she had not remained entirely unaffected.

And, even if she did not share that prejudice, there was still the matter of their age difference. He was centuries older than she. It didn't matter to him, but surely to a young woman such as herself that must seem an intolerable difference. True, thanks to his demon blood, he still appeared young and healthy by human standards – and by demon standards he _was_ fairly young, and certainly fit, and he would certainly outlive her if nature was allowed to run its course. But she would always _know_ that he was, by her standards, ancient. What young woman wanted to be bound to an old man? She would long for excitement, newness, discovery, and he would not be able to share that with her – he had seen all there was to see.

And there was the matter of his duties. She didn't deserve to live with the fear that her husband could die at any moment. It wouldn't be fair. And if he were to die, what then? Her people would never respect her knowing that she had been mated to a demon Lord, and Sesshoumaru could hardly be expected to care for her. What kind of life would that be for her? Despised by demons and humans alike?

He couldn't love her. It wasn't fair to her.

And that meant he could no longer allow her to remain. She was of the age to marry. If she did not find a husband soon it was unlikely that she ever would. And as much as he longed to fill that position in her life himself it was not his place... he had to let her go.

* * *

He found her alone in the koi garden, her favorite spot.

He entered silently, so as not to alert her to his presence. For just a few moments he wanted to just look at her. Except that looking at her like this made him ache with longing. He wanted to draw her into his arms and give in to this feeling that had been growing for months. He could feel his heart rate increase, hear the blood pulsing in his ears. Digging his claws into his palms he forced his thoughts back to the matter at hand.

He opened and closed the shoji once more, as though he had just entered, the small cuts in his palms healing even as he lifted his hands to perform the task.

Izayoi looked up at the sound; a hesitant smile touched her face before falling away.

He could smell her nervousness.

He wondered if it was in reaction to something in his expression, and he carefully schooled it into what he hoped was a calming pleasantness.

"Hello." He began softly as he drew as near to her as he dared.

"My Lord," she dipped her head briefly and he felt his stomach tighten. She hadn't addressed him so formally in quite some time. Did he look that intimidating? Or was she upset about last night? She hadn't seemed upset.

He smiled, reaching a hand to lift her to her feet and then taking a step back once she accepted his help. He stood casually, willing her to relax, but it was difficult since he was far from relaxed himself.

"You missed breakfast." He smiled so that she would know he was not angry.

She nodded, "My apologies, I did not sleep well last night, and the maids were reluctant to wake me."

He felt a pang, had her lack of sleep been caused by his actions? But she truly didn't appear upset with him. Perhaps it had been the excitement of the day that had chased sleep from her. "I missed you." He admitted before he could catch himself.

Amazingly that seemed to lift her spirits and she smiled at him. "I missed you also."

Warmth filled him as she said that, but he quickly forced it back. She merely missed his company. After all, she had no one else to speak to, and no human companionship. Of course she would miss their conversation.

"What did they prepare?"

For a moment he couldn't remember what they were talking about, but then he shook himself into awareness, "duck omelets."

She grimaced and he remembered that she was not overly fond of eggs.

"You could always tell them you don't want eggs." He pointed out.

She shook her head, "then they would think I objected to their cooking. It is not their cooking which is at fault, but rather my taste buds." She laughed lightly and he forced himself to join her.

She was becoming more comfortable, but he was not. He felt like the string of a bow, pulled taut, about to break at any moment.

This conversation was so much harder to start than he had hoped it would be. He decided the only thing to do was just get it over with.

"Izayoi, if I were to send you back to your people, with assurances that you had adequately repaid their debt, would they accept you?" he asked with what appeared to be no more than idle curiosity.

She tilted her head at him, surprised at the sudden change in topic, but it was not really out of character for him to make such a switch, "My father would, of course," she said slowly, "but the others," she shook her head, "I'm afraid I cannot answer, for I do not know."

He appeared to consider this a moment. "I will contact your father then." he said abruptly, turning away from her.

Izayoi started in shock, pain lancing through her heart. What was this? She had spent much time thinking last night. And she had come to the conclusion that she could be content with his friendship as long as he desired her companionship – and he clearly did. So she had thought... but it apparently didn't matter what she had thought. Still, she had to know what had brought this on.

"Have I done something to offend you, my Lord?" she asked, her voice timid and shaking. She berated herself for her weakness. He didn't need to know her anguish.

He stopped, half turning toward her, "Of course not – why would you ask such a thing?" he truly seemed surprised.

"You're sending me away..." she was dismayed to feel tears rising in her eyes.

She saw him swallow, but he still didn't fully turn to meet her gaze, "It is for your sake that I must send you away." He told her solemnly, "You are of the age to be seeking a husband. You cannot do that here."

She squeezed her eyes shut, relieved that he was not displeased with her, but heart breaking just the same, "but... I do not wish to leave." She said quietly. Had he been anyone else – any_ thing _else – he would not have heard her, but his sensitive ears caught the broken whisper. She sensed movement and when she opened her eyes she was a bit startled to see intense gold staring back at her from only inches away.

"Izayoi," his voice was low and husky, and she was certain there was pain lurking in his eyes. A suspiciously familiar pain. "I would like nothing more than for you to stay," he shook his head slightly to keep her from voicing her obvious question, "but, if you do, I can no longer assure the integrity of your honor." The confusion in her eyes made it painfully obvious how naive she still was, and he swallowed, still keeping his gaze steadily locked with hers, "I love you," he confessed quietly, "I desire you as only a man can want a woman." Her eyes widened as she realized what he was speaking of. "If you remain, it would be as my mate – my wife – I would not dishonor you by making you less."

She searched his gaze for long moments, and he watched in awe as they seemed to shift from stormy confusion to crystalline clarity, "Yes." She finally whispered.

He brought his hands up to lightly grip her upper arms, as though assuring himself that this was real and not an illusion, "What?"

She flushed, but did not look away, "Make me yours."

His hands tightened, but he kept his claws from puncturing her skin, "I am a demon." He reminded her.

"It doesn't matter," she smiled gently, "when I came here, my father told me that I need not be afraid of you," his eyes widened almost imperceptibly, "he said that you were just and merciful, and he was right. You are that... and so much more. You're wise, kind, gentle, and caring. People think all demons are evil, but they are wrong." Her voice had risen in her conviction, but it dropped now, "You're the most compassionate man I have ever known. I love you."

"Izayoi," he breathed in wonder, bringing his hands up to gently frame her face before dipping his head to meet her lips in a tender kiss.

* * *

Notes: Okay, I know that nowadays in western culture a girl "becomes a woman" officially at 18, and biologically I suppose we could say it happens between 11 and 14 for most girls. But in feudal Japan I'm guessing women married around 13, but weren't really considered mature until 16 or so. By saying that Izayoi is now a woman, Inutaisho is saying that he feels that she is truly a mature adult now...

A/N: wow, first major conflict and its resolution all in the same chapter Not sure I like the "make me yours" line, but I couldn't think of another way for her to say it... suggestions would be appreciated... Please review.

reenas-as

* * *

VOCAB:

Hime – princess

Taiyoukai – demon Lord

Youkai – demon

Inu – dog

Hanyou – half demon

Shoji – in Japanese architecture: the portion of the wall that slides back to serve as a door.


	5. chapter 5

Compassion

Chapter 5

Izayoi stood in her Lord's chambers uncertainly. She wanted to be with him, truly she did. But what did she know of being a wife? Certainly nothing of being the mate of a powerful demon Lord.

"Izayoi." His voice washed over her, soothing her with its warmth. He came to stand before her, taking her gently into his arms before putting a bit of space between them so that he could watch her face. He seemed as uncertain as she, and that somehow reassured her. "Demon bondings," he began, "are unlike human marriages. There will be no ceremony, no witnesses, and no holy man to forge our bond." He held her gaze steadily, bringing the back of his right hand to brush gently across her cheek, "I will have to bite you," he confessed, "and it will leave a scar. It is my mark, to let others know that you are mine and they cannot have you." He studied her tenderly, "It will be painful, my love." She nodded uncertainly as he brushed his fingers over the spot between her neck and shoulder where the mark would be placed. "That alone will not make you my mate. That bond is forged only when a male and his claim are united physically in the most intimate of ways." She flushed at this, but he remained unflappably calm, and that made it easier for her. "There is... some pain involved in the loss of maidenhood as well," he told her. "You understand, I will have to hurt you - not once, but twice. And," his voice became very low, "I cannot bear that thought unless I _know_ beyond all doubt that this is what you want."

He continued before she could respond,

"Inuyoukai mate for life. The bond will not permit infidelity or absolution by either party." He wove his fingers into her long hair, enjoying the silken texture, "this is for life; there will be no turning back. I do not want you to regret your choice." The tenderness in his eyes and voice told her that he did not doubt her intentions, that he knew she would be loyal once her choice was made, but he didn't want her to step into this blindly. She loved him even more for his concern.

She placed her hand over his, smiling softly as she closed her small, delicate, fingers around his long, strong ones, "I will never regret." She promised. "I love you."

He didn't smile at her, somehow it would have broken the moment, but his gaze softened as he leaned toward her. Just before his lips touched hers she heard him whisper, "And I you."

* * *

It had been three weeks since Inutaisho had made her his mate, and yet she was still in a state of wonder. The tenderness with which he touched her, the fiery passion in his golden eyes, that molten gold look that made her knees go weak even before his touch melted her. It was all so familiar now, and yet intensely new each time she felt it. She loved him more than she had thought it possible to love. And he never let her doubt that he felt the same way. She felt cherished, loved, wanted, _needed_, and she liked those feelings.

So great was her bliss that she never imagined anything could steal that state away.

But something could.

And that something was Sesshoumaru.

It had been two years since the young Lord had deemed it necessary to step foot in his father's castle – two years since he had last 'lowered' himself by entering a home in which a human resided. Why he came now no one knew; it couldn't have been at news of his father's taking a mate, for that news had not yet spread. Nevertheless, a month from their mating Sesshoumaru unexpectedly appeared on their doorstep.

One solid sniff and he _knew_ what his father had done.

To say that he was displeased would be like saying that the poles are a bit chilly. He was angry. But Sesshoumaru did not indulge in emotion, and so he settled for being disdainful.

He stayed for nearly a week, and in that time he and Inutaisho only spoke once that anyone knew of. Izayoi wondered why he stayed if he found their bonding so detestable, but she hadn't the nerve to ask. Besides, she had the feeling she already knew. He was trying to understand – if not the situation, at least why his father had let it come to this. He needed to understand, because, despite his seeming lack of emotion, he was most likely hurt. Like any child, no matter what age, he was angered that his mother was being replaced. Izayoi wished she could tell him that loving her had not diminished Inutaisho's love for his first wife, but she could no more talk to Sesshoumaru than she could sprout wings and fly. It would only have made him angrier.

His single conversation with his father came on the last day of his stay. And Izayoi wondered if he had planned it that way, for dramatic effect if nothing else.

They did not yell, but their conversation was charged with tension, and neither demon was willing to back down. Both were strong-willed and confident, and Sesshoumaru had to know that he would not sway his father. Perhaps that, more than anything else was the reason he timed this meeting to correspond with his departure - it negated the need for a real resolution of the argument. And it was far more thought provoking for him to calmly leave in the middle of it, claiming that he had pressing matters to attend to.

But what she had heard of the conversation would haunt Izayoi for days.

She hadn't meant to overhear, hadn't wanted too, but how was she to know that he would chose this day to seek out his father? She hadn't been able to leave the hall before they had begun to speak, and even then she would have left, but the words she had inadvertently heard seemed to sap away her strength, leaving her slumped against the wall. What she heard confirmed all her worst suspicions. Sesshoumaru was hurting, and in his pain he was striking out at them both.

"How could you mate with her? A human _child_?" if Sesshoumaru had been prone to emotional displays he would have spat the word.

"It is not your place to question me." His father stated calmly.

"If not my place then whose?"

Inutaisho gazed at him steadily, "It is no one's place to question the boding."

Sesshoumaru actually growled, she could feel it trembling through the wall which now supported her. "You dishonor the memory of my mother every time you touch her."

Inutaisho stood, placing his hands firmly on his desk.

"Sesshoumaru," he forced a calm he did not feel, Sesshoumaru was stoking his protective instincts toward his mate, and if the boy did not ease off Inutaisho could not be held responsible for his actions. "I _loved_ your mother. I _still love_ your mother." Sesshoumaru's look clearly proclaimed that he did not believe that. "Your mother was beautiful, proud, strong. She was everything I needed, everything I wanted, and far more than I ever dreamed I would receive." Izayoi ached for him, hearing how raw the pain still was, "she was my first love. She was part of my soul. And she will always be with me." He relaxed just a bit, sinking back into his seat. "But Izayoi... Izayoi is the light in my darkness." He continued, voice softening, "she brightens my life and heals my soul. She is like cool water after days of thirst." He brought his gaze to focus on his son, "I love her just as much as I love your mother... but, different somehow. Not better, not more, just different. And that love does not diminish my feelings for your mother. Somehow it strengthens it." He said quietly.

Sesshoumaru snorted. His beautiful face twisted by a look of disgust, "You don't _love_ her." He said coldly, "she is a child. But she is a comely child –as far as humans go." He was attempting to be understanding, Izayoi supposed, but he came across as condescending, an unwise position to take concerning his own father. What he said next made her blood run cold, even as it caused her mate's to boil in anger. "You have been too long without a mate. It is understandable that your body cries out for hers. Once you have sated yourself, perhaps this madness will pass." Izayoi cringed, he made her sound like a common whore. He made his father sound like a cretin. It was rude, it was _cruel_. "At that time we can only pray that her people will take her back." Sesshoumaru either did not notice, or chose to ignore, the deadly calm his father had assumed.

Inutaisho was on the verge of cracking his own son in half, and in his present state he likely would have relished the sound. Realizing he was dangerously close to losing it he forced himself to take calming breaths and reason with his son. "I don't expect you to understand, son. But I assure you, this is not some carnal urge, some physical need that can be dealt with." Sesshoumaru did not appear convinced. "I have already marked her. Only death will separate us now."

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened fractionally and then narrowed to mere slits. Inutaisho could see the cords in his neck tighten as he fought not to clench his teeth. "Fool." He finally ground out, "I do not care to know how you came to be in this state. I can only hope that the whore is incapable of conceiving. Perhaps that will save our family honor."

Inutaisho growled warningly, but Sesshoumaru ignored him.

"I take my leave. Someone has to see to the safety of our lands." He strode away; stopping only briefly to give a parting comment. "May whatever powers govern this life restore to you your right mind. For perhaps then our house can be redeemed."

Izayoi felt sick as she watched him leave.

That he would consider mental illness less disgraceful then willingly binding oneself to a human weighed heavily on her.

How could he hold her in such contempt?

He had never even spoken to her.

Inutaisho came out to his mate, taking her in his arms and smoothing her hair, as much to calm himself as to comfort her. Izayoi clung to him desperately, praying that she would never have to face Sesshoumaru again.

* * *

After his son's departure Inutaisho's mood seemed to lighten considerably. But it took some time – and quite a bit of whispered comfort from her mate - for Izayoi to return to her previous joyfulness.

What truly made the difference was that Inutaisho did not seem at all shaken by his son's disapproval, or his accusations. He was supremely confident that he had made the right decision. He did not regret taking her to mate. That alone kept her from weeping with despair on the long, dark nights.

* * *

Izayoi was blissfully happy.

She was carrying a child. Inutaisho's child – _their_ child. She smoothed her hand over her still-flat stomach and smiled.

He had told her last night, in bed. Snuggled up against her, nuzzling her ear, he had whispered those life changing words to her. She could hardly believe it, but she trusted her mate's acute sense of smell. She was pregnant.

Izayoi had never known her mother, she had died giving birth to her, but she wasn't afraid of being a poor parent. Inutaisho would help her, he would guide her. Their child would be someone to be proud of.

She smiled down at her stomach and then gasped. She had felt something move.

It was far too soon, she was certain. Even if she had been pregnant for several weeks she should not have been able to feel the child. Her stomach was still flat, which meant the baby could not be very large. And she had only found out last night! But her child was half youkai – perhaps this was to be expected. She would have to ask her mate that night. Bemusedly she wondered what other oddities would occur during her pregnancy.

Human children took about nine lunar cycles to reach birth. Youkai took far less. But a hanyou? How long would a hanyou grow within its mother? Would Inutaisho know? After all, there were very few hanyou births. There was too much distrust, too much fear between the races for it to be otherwise. She thought with sudden fear that perhaps no one would be able to prepare her for the task that lay ahead. Taking calming breaths she reminded herself that her husband was a wise and experienced man. She was in safe hands.

* * *

Had Izayoi known how difficult her pregnancy would be, and how painful the birthing process, she might never have allowed Inutaisho to touch her. It was doubtful though... she fully intended to continue to let him touch her even after this... but not for quite some time. She was immensely grateful that she had only had to endure seven months of pregnancy, and even more grateful that Inutaisho had managed to find a healer with experience in hanyou birthing. She was not certain she could have survived without the kindly old demoness.

As it was she endured three hours of excruciating pain before her eager son was brought into the world. Inutaisho remained by her side throughout the process, holding her hand and whispering comfort to her. When their son was born the look of pride on his face, the look of love, made everything worthwhile. Though weary she refused to sleep until she had seen him and made certain he was all there.

And he was.

He was a vision of infant perfection. Not red faced or blotchy like many human children, but smooth and cream colored. Wispy white locks framed his face, and his tiny fingers and toes already bore equally tiny claws. His eyes were tightly shut, so she could not see if they resembled hers or his father's, but she had a feeling they would be intense amber, just like Inutaisho's. What surprised her most were his ears. They were neither rounded like a human's, nor elegantly pointed like those of a demon. Indeed, they were not even traditionally placed. For instead of skin covered ears on the sides of his head, carefully aligned with his eyes, the infant had small dog like ears atop his head, already covered with a fine white fur. Already they struggled to swivel toward the slightest sound.

Izayoi thought it was the most adorable thing she had ever seen.

When she was satisfied that all was well, Inutaisho took the child from her and urged her to rest. She noticed, however, just before she closed her eyes, that he did not hand their son to the healer or the servants, but stood staring at him in wonder. With a weary smile Izayoi fell into sleep.

* * *

Notes: I don't know if Inuyasha ever knew his father – but for the purposes of this story (especially concerning Sesshoumaru) it works better for me if he did... so he does...

A/N: "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms..." Just kidding. Seriously though, a review or two (or ten) would be nice Please?

One chapter and the epilogue to go...

VOCAB:

Hime – princess

Taiyoukai – demon Lord

Youkai – demon

Inu – dog

Hanyou – half demon

Shoji – in Japanese architecture: the portion of the wall that slides back to serve as a door.


	6. chapter 6

Compassion

Chapter 6

They had named him Inuyasha, a name they hoped would prove prophetic. And already, at only a week old, he was strong and energetic. He didn't cry much, choosing to express his displeasure with little grunts and an almost comical contortion of his face. On the third day after his birth he could already raise his head while lying down, and Izayoi could have sworn she had seen him support his upper body weight on his arms.

When she had asked Inutaisho if this were normal he had assured her that youkai pups grew very quickly. He was a bit surprised that Inuyasha, being only half inuyoukai, was progressing so well, but he took it as a sign that the boy would have incredible strength for a hanyou. That comforted him, for he knew the child would not have an easy life were he ever forced to leave the sanctuary of their home.

Izayoi once more settled into a blissful state of happiness, marred only for a short time by the brief appearance of her mate's first son.

It was only days after the birth, and Izayoi was still confined to bed. She had been cradling her son, propped up on pillows, while Inutaisho hovered over them both, stroking her hair. She wasn't certain what had alerted her to his presence, for Inutaisho – though he must have sensed it – gave no indication of the young Lord's presence. But suddenly Izayoi felt as though a chill had entered the room. She ceased her gentle cooing at Inuyasha and looked up uncomfortably.

The look in his eyes made her wish she could disappear. If he had been cold before, he was surely ice now. He stood stiffly in the doorway, unwilling to enter the chamber, a fist closed, but not clenched, at his side.

"It is true." He said blandly, no trace of emotion in his voice or expression, but the look in his eyes was more than enough. He spared a scathing glance for his father before turning his back deliberately. "I will never return to this place." And Izayoi had no doubt that he meant it. In his eyes, his father was beyond redemption.

"Sesshoumaru-" Inutaisho rose to follow his son, to reason with him, but his mate's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Don't- leave me." She whispered, still frightened from the encounter. He gazed at her tenderly and then sank to sit at her side. He could not abandon his mate at this time. His choice was made. With a twinge of sorrow in his heart for the son he knew he had lost forever, but a smile on his face for the son he had gained, he turned back to his mate and pup.

* * *

"Inuyasha." Izayoi scolded lightly, resisting the urge to laugh as she lifted him, prying his small fingers from the draperies. At eleven months he could be a terror. Already he could manage teetering steps, and his small claws tore all things to shreds without prejudice. 

"I believe it is time for a nap." she told him, peering into his golden eyes. He smiled, babbling incoherently and swatting at a lock of her hair. He did not yet recognize the word as the threat that all toddlers dread. But he did recognize the bed.

Pouting, he grunted a negative, attempting to twist out of his mother's grasp as his small nose crinkled in disgust.

"Oh no you don't." Izayoi smiled at him and hugged him closer. "It is well past naptime, and your behavior is atrocious!" she supposed that wasn't entirely true. Considering what some human children put their mothers through in the early years, and considering her son's rather remarkable abilities, she was quite fortunate that he had such a cheerful temperament. He could really do some damage if he had the mind too.

Occasionally he would sulk – something rather unusual in a child so young – but if that was the greatest of her worries then she could not complain.

She laid him in his small bed and placed her hand on his back, rocking him slightly, while maintaining enough pressure that he could not attempt to get up. After a few moments of half-hearted struggling, Inuyasha gave up and fell asleep.

Izayoi chuckled softly and continued her soothing motions for several moments before placing a kiss on his little head and stepping out of the room. Even in his sleep his adorable ears swiveled to follow the noise, but he did not stir.

Izayoi smiled as she stepped from his room into the chambers she shared with her mate. Stepping to the small bowl of water on a pedestal she dipped her hands in and pressed the moisture to her face. It was a rather warm day. Drying her face and hands she let out a contented sigh. She had never imagined she could be so happy.

Her breath caught as strong arms slipped around her waist from behind. She could feel warm breath on her ear as her mate nuzzled her hair. He could still startle her, for she never knew he was coming unless he wanted her too. And more often than not he was stealthy out of mere force of habit. But she didn't mind, not when he chose to surprise her like this.

"Is he asleep?" his deep voice murmured low in her ear, causing a pleasant shiver to shoot through her.

She nodded, leaning back into him.

"And are you tired as well?" he nipped lightly at the back of her neck, pressing a kiss to the underside of her jaw before returning to her ear.

"No." she whispered breathlessly. Even if she had been tired, she certainly wasn't now.

"Good." She could feel his smile as he kissed the top of her ear before turning her gently in his arms. She closed her eyes, waiting for the feel of his lips on hers. And he did not disappoint her. Tenderly he pressed his lips against hers, his hands smoothing over her back with the lightest of caresses before coming up to comb through her hair. He slanted his mouth over hers, letting his tongue brush against her lips before nibbling gently at her lower lip. She readily opened her mouth to him, enjoying the sensations as he delicately explored her mouth.

"I love you." He murmured against her lips, and she barely had the presence of mind to answer in kind. She would never become accustomed to this. He still set her heart racing.

"Come to bed." He commanded softly, the slightest hint of suggestiveness in his tone, and she merely nodded. Sweeping her up in his arms, his lips never leaving hers, he carried his mate to their sleeping quarters and shut the shoji behind them.

* * *

Izayoi was frightened. She clutched their son to her chest, praying that the demon barely fifty yards away would not notice their presence, grateful that Inuyasha was being so quiet. She didn't know what the demons wanted, why they were attacking, or how they had breached the outer wall of the castle so quickly – with no warning at all. She only knew that her mate stood before her – between her and the monster approaching – injured and bleeding. 

She and Inuyasha had been enjoying a walk in the front courtyard when he had appeared, unusually tense and rigid. She had tried to ask him what was wrong, but he had silenced her with a look, his hand reaching for his sword.

Even as he turned to tell her to go back into the castle the demons had swarmed over the castle walls. Inutaisho had grabbed his mate and run toward the relative safety of the inmost courtyard, but this demon had followed them. Others had entered the castle itself, searching for spoils no doubt, and the shrieking of the servants was terrible to hear. Somehow the gardens had been set ablaze, and the air around them was dark with soot and ash.

So now they stood, surrounded by flames, her mate with several arrows protruding from the holes in his upper body armor, a crazed, animalistic demon approaching them. And he was telling her to go.

Every fiber of her being cried for her to stay with him. To fight with him. And, if necessary, to die with him. But some still rational part of her told her that she would only be a distraction to him. He would be far more likely to survive if he knew that she was safe and waiting for him. Besides, Inuyasha needed her. He deserved a chance to live his life.

With a last desperate, love-filled look, she ran as fast as she could, clutching the fire-rat hoari her husband had given her to protect them from the flames and any wayward – or well aimed – arrows.

* * *

She didn't know how long she had been sitting, hunched, in the dark underground stronghold, fearfully hushing her son, and hoping no one would find her. This was the place he had told her to go if they were ever attacked. At the time she had thought it somewhat pointless. He was the mightiest of Taiyoukai, and they had not come under attack in all the time she had lived with him. He had a well trained army, and loyal guards. It was unlikely anyone, man or demon, would ever reach the castle. And yet... they had. Somehow they had. 

She stiffened as she heard a noise before and above her. Someone had opened the trap door, they were coming down the stairs. She stifled the urge to scream, praying that if it were an enemy the demon would believe the room empty and leave. She had carefully placed the sutures so that her scent would not give her away.

The man, for from the heavy steps she assumed it must be a man, stumbled and then leaned against the wall.

"Izayoi." The voice was weak, but unmistakably that of her mate.

"Izayoi, it is safe... they are gone..."

With a soft cry Izayoi laid her son on the floor and hurried to her mate. He must have been badly injured, for he actually rested a good deal of his weight on her slight shoulders. She led him to their son and helped him sit against the wall. She then ran her hands over him, searching for injuries. She gasped, she could feel blood still seeping from his injuries. Weakly he took her hands in his own, stilling them and bringing them down to his lap.

"What happened?" Her tremulous voice quickly gave away her concern.

"I love you." He whispered, reaching up with one hand to stroke her cheek, seemingly uninterested in answering her questions. "I love you so much." Clearly he could see her even in the darkness of the room, for his fingers traced her features without hesitation or mistake, coming to rest on her lips. After a moment he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, lacing the fingers into her hair and urging her down toward him. He pressed his lips to hers lightly, as though it was a great strain, before letting his hand fall back into his lap.

Izayoi was becoming frightened. He wasn't himself at all. He was so weak, so tired. She had seen him after a battle before, but never like this.

"Let me see to your wounds." She said quickly, turning to stand, intent on searching for some sort of medicinal supplies. His hand on her wrist stopped her. He shook his head, and she could barely make out the motion in the blackness that surrounded them.

He fumbled for a moment and then pressed something into her hand. It was a scroll, though how she had not found it in her exploration of his injuries she did not know.

"Izayoi, you cannot stay here any longer." He whispered, grunting in pain as he shifted against the wall. "Sesshoumaru... he will not tolerate your presence here. He will kill you – and our son."

Izayoi stiffened; he spoke as though he were leaving her, as though he were going to die. Surely things were not so bleak. She wasn't certain what she would do without him. Her hands fisted in his hoari, silent tears coursing down her cheeks.

"Don't say that." She whispered, "You're going to be alright. I just need to tend your injuries." Once more she attempted to stand, and once more he stopped her.

"I have already sent word to Sesshoumaru. He will come to claim his inheritance soon."

Izayoi grasped his hand, bringing it to her cheek. He gently wiped at the tears there.

"You must be strong, Izayoi. For our son." She nodded and he sighed as though relieved that she was no longer fighting him. "The letter, it is for your father, for your people. It declares their debt to me paid in full. I pray it is enough for them. Perhaps once they learn of my death they will be sympathetic." He squeezed her hand weakly. "Inuyasha... let me hold him."

Izayoi fumbled a moment, her vision and movements impaired by the darkness and her tears, before gently lifting their son and placing him in his father's arms.

For a moment he studied the boy, barely into his first year, and then he shifted once more, clasping the boy against him with one arm and drawing his sword with the other.

Izayoi recognized the sword. It was one of two that he had commissioned from the sword smith Totousai shortly after their boding. They were unusual swords, forged to make use of the compassion he so freely gave. Tenseiga – the sword of life, which could heal up to a hundred with a single sweep; and Tetsusaiga, a sword of battle that could kill a hundred demons in a single slash, but could only be wielded by human hands – incapable of unleashing it's power – or a demon filled with compassion for humanity. The sword he had drawn was the Tetsusaiga. Brow furrowed in concentration he focused on the sword, and, after a moment, it vanished, leaving in its place a small black pearl. He seemed to relax greatly after this.

"It is safe." He whispered, speaking as though to himself. "He will not find it here." He did not say who 'he' was, "but just in case..." he turned to his young son, brushing a finger over the infant's nose, causing Inuyasha to open his eyes very widely. "There you go." The Taiyoukai managed, as that was evidently what he had wanted. Slowly he lifted the black pearl to hover over his son's eye. He whispered an enchantment and it seemed to sink into that eye with no discomfort to the child. He smiled at the boy, running his claws lightly through his hair before abruptly handing him back to Izayoi and struggling to sit up a bit.

"I cannot die here..." he ground out, supporting his upper body on his arms rather than the wall, "I must go to a place where my rest will be undisturbed." Izayoi thought she understood his reason for wanting to go. He had told her once that youkai reverted to their true forms when dead. His true form was a great dog, taller than the oldest tree on their land. The castle was no place for such to be buried. "You must prepare a gravesite for me." His voice was breaking nearly every other word now, and her heart broke with it. "Myoga..." Izayoi started at the name of his faithful retainer, for she had been certain they were alone.

"Yes, my Lord." The voice of the old flea rid her of any fear that he was delusional.

"I entrust this duty to you." He was referring to the gravesite.

"Yes, my Lord."

"Sesshoumaru must not find my true resting place."

"Yes, my Lord." The flea sounded nearly as heart broken as she felt and Izayoi's eyes welled with fresh tears.

"Watch over them, Myoga. Help him." Myoga gave his word, and the Taiyoukai fell back against the wall once more.

His hand found hers once again and his golden gaze shifted to the child in her arms.

"I love you, my son," he whispered, before he turned to her and wearily caressed her face, "My mate. Be well..."

In a flash of light he was gone, only a small glowing ball remained, hovering before her. She knew that he was not yet dead, for she had once witnessed him traveling in this manner. She knew it was the quickest and safest way he knew, and she also knew it would drain what little strength he had left. She forced a smile in the direction of the hovering light.

"Go, my love." She whispered, and, as though he had been waiting for her to release him, he left.

Izayoi let her head fall so that her chin rested against her chest and she hugged Inuyasha closer. Unable to contain her sorrow any longer she let out a piercing wail. Inuyasha, who had been quiet through the entire ordeal shifted, sensing his mother's distress. In a moment his shrill cry joined her own, and their wailing echoed through the castle...

That very evening Izayoi gathered a few things and left for her own home. But she knew she would never forget this place, or the demon she had loved so much.

* * *

Notes: I don't know how Inutaisho died, but I saw some screenshots from the third movie. They showed him with arrows sticking out of his chest, fire burning all around, a castle, a demon in front of him, and Izayoi holding Inuyasha behind him. Then there was one in the same scene that looked like he was telling Izayoi to run. And finally one with her running away with what looked like Inuyasha's hoari over her head... so, I could be totally off base, but since I haven't seen the third movie, I had to make due... Sorry if it's way inaccurate. 

As for the swords and the black pearl... when Sesshoumaru first appears in the anime he is looking for Tetsusaiga. The sword turns out to be hidden inside the bones of their father which are in an utterly desolate and deserted place. I don't know where that place is, but the doorway that allowed them to get there was a small black pearl that was hidden in Inuyasha's eye. And he didn't know it was there. So, I attempted to explain and incorporate this into the story. When the sword was replaced by the pearl it hadn't _become_ the pearl, it had disappeared through the gateway. Again, if this is totally off base I apologize.

Yeesh... I crammed a lot in here

VOCAB:

Hime – princess

Taiyoukai – demon Lord

Youkai – demon

Inu – dog

Hanyou – half demon

Shoji – in Japanese architecture: the portion of the wall that slides back to serve as a door.

Inuyasha – benign, or friendly, dog demon

A/N: Only one chapter left! A very short epilogue tying it all back to the series...Thanks fo the many reviews Just a note... what I said about Inuyasha "knowing" his father. I just meant... that Inutaisho was still alive when he was born. But I guess you can tell that after reading this chapter You guys rock... and thanks to La'Ruelia, The Celestial Tiger, and katie12321for trying to help with the whole Inutaisho's death thing...

reenas-as


	7. Epilogue

Compassion

Epilogue

Inuyasha was a sweet boy. He didn't understand... couldn't understand... why the villagers hated him. All he wanted was to play, and to see his mother smile, something she did far too seldom. He looked back and forth in excited wonder at the many fine Lords and ladies around him. His mother was on the other side of the stream, she didn't like parties, but she hadn't said that he couldn't come. They were playing with a ball, and someone called to him to catch it, but they threw it too far for him – a mistake he was sure – and it rolled across the bridge. He ran to get it, ears twitching as someone said something that struck him as strange – he had never heard that word before, but it seemed they were speaking about him. Whatever else they said was lost to the sounds of laughter. He picked up the ball and turned to take it back, but the people were all leaving. He was disappointed, he had wanted to play, but his mother called him and he smiled as he ran toward her. He slowed as he approached, remembering what the courtier had said.

"Mama?" he asked innocently, looking up at her, "what's a _hanyou_?" he continued curiously, and, to his surprise, his mother began to weep. She dropped to her knees, embracing him. The ball rolled away, forgotten, as he wrapped his tiny arms around his mother's waist.

"Oh, my son..." she whispered brokenly, hugging his confused form tightly; slowly she pulled back to look at his face, and he tentatively reached to wipe away a tear with a short clawed finger. His mother gave a small, sad smile and wiped away the remainder of her tears herself, "have I ever told you about your father?" The boy shook his head, staring at her uncertainly. Sitting, she drew him into her lap.

"To begin with, your father was a man of unparalleled compassion..."

_finis

* * *

_

Pretty depressing for a fic that started on Valentine's ne? Sorry about that... you know how I hate tragedy, but it had already happened! (since he ain't around in the series.) I just delved into it a little... Oh, and obviously my theory on Inuyasha is that he was a sweet kid (with a bit of a tendency to sulk) before he lost his mother and had to fend for himself...

This fiction has got to have the _least_ dialogue of anything I have ever written. I tend to write very conversation based stuff- probably because I'm an actress... but I have noticed that in relational stuff I tend to put a lot fewer conversations. Check out 'Forever' if you don't believe me. BTW this is my second, purely relational fic, the other being 'Forever'. And did you notice that both are IY fics? I've been considering an Inu/Kag fic that would also be almost strictly relational... very strange... can you tell why I watch this series? It ain't for the shard hunting

VOCAB:

Hime – princess

Taiyoukai – demon Lord

Youkai – demon

Inu – dog

Hanyou – half demon

Shoji – in Japanese architecture: the portion of the wall that slides back to serve as a door.

A/N: Way short, I know... but it was just to tie it back to something you'd recognize. Anyway... thanks to all the people who gave me info and all of you who've stuck with me all these weeks. Please send a parting review

reenas-as


End file.
